2024-01-23 The last time I had a big question I got a lot of great answers. While I am gearing up for a future job I know that there’s a lot of myself that is stressed, burnt out, crispy, a toast! There’s a lot of resetting and resting to be done before I embark on a new chapter of life. But how to go about that, as someone who has never truly let go, and enjoyed rest? How to go about that as someone who always, pathologically avoids rest? Who wants the fastest way to get to point B?
Partner says that I just have to spend enough time not doing anything. This sounds like an exasperating but reasonable endeavor. It only something that makes that much sense in the context of my privilege, being able to sit up and stare off into space and wander actively and sleep in and decide what I want to do with each day as I want to, develop my curiosity and my taste with the security of future commitment and the imperative of my physiological and mental state. At the same time, I hope that this privilege is one that does not harm others too much and might help me understand how I would like to intentionally live & give back more actively in the future.
2024-04-16 I am glimpsing my first moments of rest. I am a bit at a loss to write about this process, except that I’m learning to recognize more of my own self, thoughts, instincts, intuitions. A couple of useful links maybe, instead: