Thinking about the probably most influential single piece of advice that my father has given me: that what you to do others is what you will live in anticipation of others doing to you. It’s not the golden rule (do as you would have others do to you) or the platinum rule (do as others would like you to do to them). Maybe it’s the glass rule? Or the mirror rule? Or the inversion of the golden rule?
Those are silly names, but bear with me: once I do something for someone else (i.e. a favor) I can then reasonably expect that others will do that same thing for me. This also goes for the harms that I inflict upon others.
This comforts me when others harm me in a manner that I find hard to forgive. I think about cursing them, and then stop cursing them because I wouldn’t want them to curse me, would I? But part of the revenge is already accomplished. I hope that they live in fear of what they have done to me. I hope that they continue to stunt their imagination for a future and a life: whether they realize it or not, I hope that they continue to live in fear, fear of harm, and in that way reduce the vitality of their own life.
This is a scary thing to say. I think that it would be a lie if I said that I did not believe it.